This morning one of the guys at work showed up with a doll for his kid.  Look, he showed me, it pees and poops!  I turned it over and sure enough, it did.  Looking at the box, I saw the thing was a product of a major toy company, to boot.

It reminded me of some of the other toy ideas that passed before our eyes, back when I worked in R&D at Milton Bradley.

For example, there was Baby Black And Blue.   BB and B had a special plastic skin, that changed color if you grabbed her by the legs and whacked her hard against a tabletop.   Just like a real baby. 

That one never saw the light of day, or the light of stores.

Then there was Feed the Alligators.  That was a two person game, where one kid operated the mouth on a wooden alligator, and the second kid operated a little seesaw that launched little babies toward the water.

I remember playing that game for real, when the big bully kids would launch me and the other tykes off our seesaws.  We learned to exit fast when we saw them coming, lest we go aerial.

F t A was actually sold, for some years.  You can probably buy a copy yourself on ebay.


Kevin Routh said…
I am definately going to look for FtA on eBay. How wonderfully violent and non-PC. Great post!
Robert Dole said…
"I can’t help but feel a little like an unfrozen Neanderthal when I hear comments like that."

Autism: The Eusocial Hominid Hypothesis
Gillian said…
The baby looks like Baby Alive. My friend Tootsie had this doll when we were young. Oe day we played with Baby live and forgot to clean her and her little fake intestines after using her. She got put aside for many months and when returned to her in summer Baby Alive was MOVING! Turns out Baby Alive had maggots. Needless to say, despite my begging my parents never let me get my own Baby Alive...
bullcbull said…
My daughter had a "Baby Alive" for almost 6 full hours before our 20lb cat Stuart decided that it was eat or be eaten by the doll and pounced on it full force with no front claws he used his back claws and bite as much as he could. Once he determined the creature was no longer a threat he moved on to bows and ribbons, sitting the doll outside I'd forgotten about it (it had been moved, kicked and toted around the yard by the kids) When I did see it sittining in the kids treehouse I thought this was my opportunity to finally rid our house of the battered some what freakishly scary doll as I grab hold of it its face flops toward mine its mouth open and a million and 2 gnats are swarring in and around this dolls mouth I left told the husband it was a mans job and have yet to get that creatures face out of my head that was the end of any talking dolls for us thankful my daughter prefers "Monster High Dolls" to talking ones Because after numerous attempts to rocket launch this baby alive and failed My husband and I decided we would burn her at the stake so baby alive and the bananas she had been feed that caused the gnats was stuck to a stake and burned she made for a great bon fire and story for our kids to tell for many years..

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