Being pulled in many directions

It’s a remarkable thing, what’s happened to me in the past year. I listened to my brother, my kid, and everyone else, and I sat down and wrote a book. Then I sank into depression and assumed no one would ever want to read it, let alone publish it.

But I was wrong. Everyone wanted to publish Look Me in the Eye, and the accolades poured in from all the editors who read the book. I was stunned – it was all completely unexpected. With the sale of my book to Crown, it seemed like I was off to a fresh start, and a new career.

Even still, I felt hesitant. I described my ideas for a second book to my editor, and she said, “I’d love to do that book too!” My own self doubts aside, all the indications are that I can write more books, and publishers will want to print them.

Of course, we’re still waiting for the final proof – will the public want to buy them? But the indications sure seem positive. I sure am anxious for that September 25 on-sale date. This year, fall can’t come soon enough!

But meanwhile, the old career is still with me, and it’s tough to do both.

Before I wrote about Asperger’s, I wrote about Land Rovers, Rolls Royces, and other high end cars. I answered tech questions for people from all over the world. I wrote articles for the club and enthusiast magazines. And I wrote all the material on my own web site, which became one of the most popular service sites for those makes online.

But writing was a sideline to actually fixing cars. I’ve spent twenty years building Robison Service into one of the most successful independent service centers in New England. We’ve increased our capabilities and grown every year.

All that time, I was the manager. I was the one everyone went to. But last fall, as finishing my book took more and more of my time, I realized I could not do both things. So I hired a manager. You’d think my problem was solved, but it wasn’t.

Now, I find myself with a full time job as an author. I have a second book to write, a blog to maintain, twenty to fifty emails a day to answer, and I have to plan appearances and work to finish and promote Look Me in the Eye.

I love doing all that, but I also have a second job.

Back at Robison Service, the car owners still ask for me, and I take phone calls all day. I answer another pile of emails with technical questions. I still write the car articles, and I still maintain the Robison Service web site.

Having a manager has reduced the demands on my time, but other issues have arisen, and they take time to address. What will I do with the company? Will we still service the cars? People seek reassurance in the face of change. Customers and employees worry.

What should I do?
I am thrilled to find that my writing can actually help people. The response to the words in my book and on my blog is just remarkable. I am filled with pride and joy at this heretofore unknown ability of mine. It’s like a dream come true.

But at the same time, I don’t want to abandon cars. I’ve tinkered with them since I was a child. I just want to find a balance, where the manager runs the company, and the staff does the work. And I act as a figurehead, talking to customers, and bringing in work. It’s proving difficult to accomplish that, but I hope I succeed.

For the last four or five years, I have been telling people I want to do something to benefit society, and I’d like to get out of commerce. I’ve also had a strong desire to do creative work, like I did when I was younger. My new career as an author seems to offer the promise of both. That’s exciting, but change is scary for me, too.

It’s tough, juggling being an author, overseeing the car business, and doing all the other things I do – the real estate management, the photography, our car events, and maintaining a family and home.

It’s not like quitting a job, where you walk away from one thing and start another. I don’t want to quit cars. I just want to find a balance. But it’s hard, especially on days like today. Yesterday, I left work at noon to meet people back home. I came in this morning, and everything is in disarray. It’s frustrating. I hope I can work it all out, so that I’m an author, a business owner (but not the day-to-day manager), and I can do everything else people expect of me.